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Mental Health Awareness: Strike up a conversation with her successful necessary for a healthy mindset

Mental health awareness 1: When I communicate with students, I often ask students this question. The answers from students are varied. Some said that they wanted to meet more women, some said that it was for excitement, and some said that they didn’t approve of it, but just saw other people start a conversation. When I met a good-looking lady, I was envious of it, so I went to strike up a conversation.

There are some people who have struck up a conversation for a long time, they will tell me, teacher, I think I’m getting more and more confused about the conversation, I don’t know what is the meaning of the conversation?

 

What is the meaning of hitting up a conversation?

Yes, what is the point of starting a conversation? If you don’t know the meaning of strike-up, you can’t establish a correct and positive belief at the beginning of strike-up. It is easy for you to forget your original intentions and gradually lose yourself in the subsequent practice process.

Our human brain is a very magical thing. It has a very sophisticated reward mechanism. If you do the same thing repeatedly, even if you have never done it before, gradually you will do it more and more proficiently, because your brain The cortex will establish new neuronal connections.

And when you get good feedback from your actions, your brain will give pleasant neurotransmitters such as dopamine, endorphins, and serotonin to strengthen and encourage your behavior, just like exercising muscles, making your cerebral cortex change. Is getting stronger and stronger.

mental health awareness mentality

Mental health awareness: What is the unhealthy mentality?

Mental Health Awareness: Strike up a conversation with her successfully necessary for a healthy mindset. And how to build a healthy mindset to strike up a conversation.

Conversely, if you get bad feedback, neurotransmitters will also hinder your behavior. So what determines that your behavior—“reaching up a conversation”, becomes more proficient and perfect?

It depends on: what you think.

The mentality you establish when you strike up directly determines whether your behavior can continue to develop. If you develop a bad and negative strike-up mentality, it is easy for you to be unable to stick to the conversation and eventually lose yourself.
So most of the answers I received from students are result-oriented, and the ultimate orientation of these results is often: sex. Sex is indeed a powerful stimulus. This stimulating experience will make the brain secrete many pleasant neurotransmitters, but if you build a conversation with the result of sex, it is wrong.
It’s not that you can’t get results, but if you keep thinking this way, it is definitely unhealthy and not positive.
If you want to get sexual stimulation and experience through chatting up, this is an unhealthy mentality.

 

First

First, because these results are not easy to control for novices, and there are many uncertain factors, in reality, it is easy to create pressure on yourself if you have such a mentality to strike up a conversation, and this pressure is manifested in every time you strike up a conversation. In the process, because every time you strike up a conversation, there is a very high possibility of failure.

Second

Second, even if you succeed in striking up a conversation and get results, this pleasure is fleeting, and the sequelae brought by it are very serious because you will become a conversation for sex for the sake of results, by conquering women, Enhance your self-confidence, this is a very low self-esteem performance.

Mental health awareness: What are the consequences of starting a conversation with an unhealthy attitude?

The confidence you gain will only be based on your ego. This is not a true self-confidence. The self-confidence based on conquering the number of women is a pathologically low self-esteem self-confidence.
So this will only make you more stressful in the process of hitting up a conversation later, because you will want to prove your ability as a pick-up girl by hitting up a conversation. This is not a healthy mentality. This is not a normal person. People who are truly confident will have Mentality.
This will form a vicious circle, and this vicious circle will only increase the probability of your failure. As the number of failures increases, your fear will slowly grow, and finally you will not dare to start a conversation. At the end of the development, some people completely deny to strike up a conversation, or even scold it. This mentality is unhealthy and can even hurt yourself.
Even if you succeed, you will gradually lose yourself, and you will not get more and more precious things in the conversation.

Gold Medal Instructor of Hit Talk Club: Dasheng

What is a healthy mentality?

What is a healthy mentality? This is going back to our original intention of learning to strike up a conversation. Why on earth did you strike up a conversation?
If you feel that this issue does not require thinking, then please quickly change your mind and think about this issue seriously.
In my opinion, hitting up is a way to help me grow. In the process of practicing hitting up, I constantly improve my expressive skills. I find that I have insufficient communication in the process. Many unexpected things in hitting up have tempered me. Resilience. Every time, whether it is a success or a failure, I fully accept and maintain self-recognition. This greatly increases my self-confidence. In the process of talking with different strangers, I have met more types of people. And I learned part of their stories, which expanded my knowledge… and knowing more girls is just a bonus as I grow up.

Don’t pay too much attention to the result of the strike-up

Maybe you haven’t thought that accosting can also bring these gains. Perhaps in your experience, you have long discovered that accosting can bring more gains. Anyway, please continue to explore. When you explore in this way, You can discover endless wealth, but don’t pay too much attention to the success or failure of the chat.

Passion and sex are just by-products of your exploration process, not your ultimate goal.

Passion and sex are just by-products of your exploration process, they get it naturally, not your ultimate goal.
It’s like climbing a mountain. If your goal is to cross the hill in front of you, you will be very tired. Even if you are satisfied when you reach the top of the mountain, the next time you climb the mountain, it will not look easier. But if your goal is to get to the highest mountain in the distance, then when you come to the top of the highest mountain after all the hardships, look back and look at the scenery under the mountain. The hill you climbed in the past is like A small mound is not worth mentioning at all.
Therefore your vision determines your pattern. If your vision is too low, then you can only see the hills, not the highest mountain in the distance.

How to build a healthy mindset to strike up a conversation.

So every time you strike up a conversation, no matter whether the result is success or failure, it is just a small milestone in the Great Wall for you. For you, you can gain from it. If you can pay attention to your own gains every time, you The harvest will be more and more, and hitting up a conversation will become a certain thing for you-growth.
When you think about this step, your state will be more stable, and the feelings you show will be more mature. You can always bring your original mind, knowledge, and action together. This way, as your experience of hitting up a conversation increases, you will be more mature. The more you understand yourself, you will become stronger and stronger.

Chinese translation 中文翻译

原文:

你为什么搭讪?你问过自己这个问题吗?
我在和学员沟通的时候,经常会问学员这个问题,学员的回答五花八门,有的说为了认识更多女人,有的说是为了追求刺激,有的说自己并不认可,只是看到别人搭讪认识了好看的小姐姐,自己羡慕也就去搭讪了。
还有一些搭讪了很久的人,会和我说,老师我觉得我搭讪越来越迷茫了,不知道搭讪的意义究竟是什么?
是的,搭讪的意义究竟是什么呢?如果你不知道搭讪的意义,你不能在搭讪一开始的时候建立起一个正确积极的信念,那是在后面的练习过程中你很容易忘记自己的初心,逐渐迷失自我。
我们人的大脑是个很神奇的东西,他有一套非常精密的奖励机制,如果你反复做同一件事情,即使你之前从来没有做过,逐渐的你就会做的越来越熟练,因为你大脑皮层会建立起新的神经元链接。
而当行动获得好的回馈时,你大脑就会给出愉悦的神经递质比如:多巴胺、内啡肽、五羟色胺,来强化鼓励你的这个行为,就像锻炼肌肉一样,让你的大脑皮层变的越来越强壮。
相反如果你得到不好的回馈,神经递质也会阻碍你的行为。那么是什么决定了能让你的行为——“搭讪”,变的更熟练更完美呢?
取决于:你是怎么想的。
你搭讪时建立的心态直接决定了,你的行为能否持续发展下去,如果你建立不好消极的搭讪心态,很容易你就无法坚持搭讪,甚至最后迷失自我。
所以我收到学员的那些回答大部分都是以结果为导向,这些结果最终的导向往往是:性。性确实是一个强有力的刺激,这种刺激体验,会让大脑分泌许多愉悦的神经递质,但是如果你把搭讪跟性这样的结果建立在一起,这是错误的。
不是说你不能获得结果,而是如果你一直这么想,绝对是不健康的,不积极的心态。
如果你想通过搭讪获得性刺激,的体验,这是不健康的心态。
第一,因为对于新手来说这些结果并不容易被掌控,而现实中存在着许多的不确定因素,抱着这样的心态去搭讪,往往就容易给自己制造压力,这压力表现在每一次搭讪过程中,因为每一次搭讪都有非常大的失败的可能性。
第二,即使你搭讪成功,获得了结果,这种愉悦也是转瞬既逝的,而所带来的后遗症是非常严重的,因为你会变成为了性为了结果而去搭讪,通过征服女人,来提升自己的自信,这是一种非常低自尊的表现。
你获得的这种自信,只会建立在你的小我上,这不是一种真实自信,建立在征服女人数量上的自信是一种病态的低自尊的自信。
因此这只会让你在之后搭讪过程中产生更大压力,因为你会想要通过搭讪来证明自己的把妹实力,这不是一个健康心态,这不是一个正常人,真正自信的人会抱有的心态。
这样就会形成一种恶性循环,而这种恶性循环只会更加增大你失败的概率,随着失败次数的增加,自己的恐惧会慢慢滋长,最后导致自己不敢搭讪。发展到最后,就有一部分人完全否定搭讪,甚至唾骂搭讪。这种心态是不健康的,甚至会伤害自己。
即使成功了,也会逐渐迷失自我,你并不会搭讪中获得更多的更宝贵的东西。
那健康的心态是什么呢?这要回到我们学习搭讪的初心上,你到底为什么搭讪?
如果你之前觉得这个问题不需要思考,那请你赶紧改变你的想法,认真的去思考这个问题。
在我看来,搭讪是一个帮助自己成长的通道,我在练习搭讪的过程中,不断的提升自己的表达能力,发现在自己沟通过程中的不足,搭讪中的很多出其不意的事情锻炼了我的应变能力,每一次不管是成功还是失败的结果,我都全然接受,保持自我认可,这大大的增加了我的自信,在和不同的陌生人说话的过程中,我见识到了更多类型的人,并且了解到一部分他们的故事,这扩大了我的见识……而认识更多的女孩子,只是在我成长过程中的额外福利。
也许你还没有想过搭讪还可以带来这些收获,也许在你的经历中,你早就发现搭讪可以带来更多的收获,不管怎样,请继续探索,当你按着这样的思路探索时,你能够发现无穷无尽的财富,但千万不要过度关注搭讪的结果是成功或是失败。
激情和性只是你在探索过程中的副产品,他是自然而然的得到的,而不是你的终极目标。
就像是你去爬山,如果你的目标只是越过眼前的这座小山,你爬的就会非常的累。即使你爬到了山顶你满足了,下一次你再爬着座山依然不会显得更轻松。但是如果你的目标是要到远处最高那座山峰上,那么当你历经千辛万苦来到最高的山顶上时回头再看看山下的风景,过去爬过的那座小山,它就像一个小土丘完全不值得一提。
因此你的眼界决定了你的格局,如果你眼界太低,那么你只能看到小山,看不到远处最高的山。
所以每次搭讪,不管结果是成功还是失败,对你来说只是万里长城中的一个小小的里程碑,对于你来说都能从中得到收获,如果你每次都能关注到自己的收获,你的收获会越来越多,搭讪对你来也会就变成了一件确定的事情——成长。
当你思考到这一步的时候,你的状态会更稳定,你展现出来的感觉也会更成熟,你能够时时刻刻带着自己的初心知行合一,这样随着搭讪经验的增加,你会越来越懂你自己,你会变得越来越强大。

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原创Original:这样的心态会毁了你的搭讪!【内涵最新视频】

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